American Idol: “It’s Not Safe!”

posted in: Country Music | 0

So, last night I tried to watch American Idol for the first time in a number of years. Okay, sometimes I watch the auditions just to see what fools they let through in an obvious ratings ploy, but for the most part I haven’t seen a whole season since that of Carrie Underwood.

The new judges made me curious. 1) Because I thought I was Mariah Carey when I was fourteen years old, 2) Keith Urban is a hot piece of country music ass and 3) What the hell is Nicki Minaj even doing on this panel?

That being said, the general consensus of this experience can be summed up in one of two ways:

Even Mariah was surprised by the exorbitant amount of over-singing that was done on that tiny stage last night. Seriously though, just hold a note.

And finally, Keith Urban doing what everyone in the south is trained to do when disaster strikes:

Taking shelter.

And that, ladies and gentlefolk, is all you need to know about American Idol Season 12 thus far.

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