The Friday Five – The Five Worst Coachella Offenders of 2013

The Friday Five – The Five Worst Coachella Offenders of 2013

posted in: Country Music | 8

I don’t think it’s any surprise that I’m not a big Coachella fan (I mean, what business do I have going to a rock music festival when I maybe would like to watch a handful of bands?). But my distaste for it grows more from the crowd that gravitates there and the spectacle that it’s become. While I know a lot of people that go FOR the music, the bands, the time with the friends, and to soak in the general experience of an amazing musical journey… the hype surrounding the festival hardly has anything to do with all that. If you search Coachella on google, it becomes something of an ironic fashion show, with a bunch of try-hard celebrities that are going more to be photographed in what they think is an artsy and unique display of personality than to soak in the beauty of the music. If I could offer one suggestion to Coachella, it would be to kick the celebrities out. I’m not talking about the Leo Dicaps hiding out in the back with the baseball cap on, avoiding cameras and any chance of being seen. I’m talking about these people…

Which brings us to our Friday Five.

The Five Worst Coachella Offenders of 2013

1. Vanessa Hudgens – She is actually the worst thing that every happen to Coachella. THE WORST. With her band of hired paparazzi, her absolutely over the top almost mockingly hippie fashion, and her desperate bid to look like she belongs. This girl spends more time trying to get photographed for placements in magazines than she does listening to the bands at the festival. AND WHAT IS THIS OUTFIT? She’s not even wearing shoes, that is disgusting!

photo 3

2. Katy Perry – I mean… this isn’t really different from how she dresses any other time of the year, but it’s still gross and weird. And how is this comfortable for a music festival, exactly? You can’t really risk getting drunk and falling over in an outfit like this. Or tripping out, because surely that skirt would be your worst enemy.

LACOSTE L!VE Desert Pool Party In Celebration Of Coachella - Day 1

3. Ashley Benson – I started out loving her (I’m a HUGE Pretty Little Liars fan. Like HUGE). But the more she makes movies with Vanessa and ends up in the same place as her, the less I like her. This outfit is making me want to give up on her all together. But no, I have faith that she’ll turn this around and get her shit together. And maybe someday spend less time at Coachella parties and more time actually going for, ya know, the music.

GUESS Hotel At The Viceroy Pool Party Day 2

4. Paris Hilton – How is she still getting invited anywhere, ever? Seriously though?

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5. Sophia Bush – I love Sophia. I think she normally has adorable fashion, she has a good sense of how to behave as a celebrity, and she’s adorable and spunky and stands up for what she believes in. But she was a mess at Coachella. The only reason she’s so low on the list is because I can’t remember her drawing attention to herself like this at previous Coachella’s, and I’m hoping some stylist told her it was a good idea to switch things up, and she’ll look back on this someday with disdain. I still love you, Sophia.

Celebrities at the 2013 Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival

8 Responses

  1. I guess I have to agree.

    I was going to crack the sads because my darling Sophia is on this list, but… Maybe you’re right. And the rest of the list is certainly correct. So it’s probably just my bias alone preventing me from agreeing with the final selection. Haha.

    Great list, though. Smashing job! I just stumbled onto your blog and I love it. Keep up the terrific work!

    • I ADORE Sophia. I was just super upset with every outfit she wore last weekend. None of them were “her” on a normal basis. But, I still love her, and it was definitely hard to include her on a list with people that are actually terrible at life.

      • Haha! Terrible at life. I love it. True words, too.

        Well, hopefully she gets her shit together and only makes your positive lists from here on. Haha. Smarten up , Sophs!

        And thanks for posting and replying! Love your work!

    • Also, thank you for reading and enjoying! I very much appreciate it!

  2. This is exactly why I have avoided Coachella since ’06 and switched to the much-less-whoreish Lollapalooza then. So many people just going to Neon Carnival and other branded parties to be seen. This is why the hipsters abandoned it and the bros came in. Bros love that shit.

  3. Couldn’t agree more with you about Vanessa Hudgens, reminds me of last year when she went to the Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix and tried to pretend she was into motor sport having her photo taken in silly outfits all over the grid

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